Let’s face it. A free dating site can be the worst and simultaneously the best experience you have this year. Many weird things that happen online. Unsolicited dick pics. You meet liars and lifelong friends. People find love or sign up just to get some. Whatever your reasons, chances are you’ll hit it off with someone and eventually want to meet up.
Next, you meet somebody and hit it off. Sparks fly and (let’s face it) you’re horny. Before tearing each other’s clothes off, a few things must be considered.
Today, we’ll look at 7 things you must know before having sex with a new person from dating sites.
Boundaries
Discuss boundaries with your partner before going too far. Sure, you might be naked, rolling around in the sheets but one step too far and things get sour quick. So, have a little discussion, if done the right way it’ll get you both in the mood. Talk about your desires and what feels good. Let your partner know what you’re into, your likes and dislikes. This is the time to do it.
Mistakes will happen when getting the feel for a new lovers’ movements. Awkwardness is guaranteed as you figure out a rhythm. Besides that, you’ll enjoy it much more if you both know exactly what you want. So, don’t be afraid to give tips during lovemaking because assertiveness is attractive.
What kind of relationship do you want?
Hooking up with someone from a free dating site can be an emotional rollercoaster. If you’re just looking for sex and nothing more, make sure your partner knows that before anything happens. Nothing’s worse than catching feelings. Once the brakes are put on it can be confusing and devastating. The inverse is also true. Having someone follow you around, like a puppy dog, after you just wanted sex; will kill any respect you have for them. Defining this beforehand and having open communication about any feelings is like a gift to your future self.
Save yourself some heartache.
Where’s the contraception?
Do they have condoms? Do you? If you’re having sex with multiple partners, safety is the most important for both you and any partners. Get checked regularly with a health professional. An STI can ruin your life and reputation. Safe sex is always your final line of defense. Even if they promised they’re clean, never take that risk.
A pack of condoms is less than $5 at the grocery store and free at planned parenthood. Worse than that is an unwanted pregnancy with someone you barely know off a free dating site. Planning will save a lot of trouble if sex is even a possibility.
Do you want this?
If you’re not entirely sure you’re into someone, why risk it? Consent is something that can change at any moment. One minute you’re into it, the next you’re thinking “This is going to fast”. If at any point you feel it needs to slow down, tell them. Be honest, you don’t have to feel bad about it and your partner must respect that. Never go through with it just because they want to be selfish and can’t control themselves. That only leads to regret and believe me, it’s never worth it in the end.
Are you clean?
Proper hygiene is an absolute must. When laying, clothes off, there’s no way to hide foul body odor. You’d expect your lover to smell good, right? If you’ve been out dancing all night, double check your downstairs area. It’s easy to freshen up in the bathroom before hooking up. Keep a stock of sanitary wipes available because your partner will appreciate it and your experience will be a lot better.
Plus, it’s a cool little confidence boost. A chance to relax and be in the moment.
You’re overthinking everything!
A big mood killer is being too caught up in your head to relax. As your mind races it asks:
“Did I shave good enough?”
“I hate the way my {insert body part} looks.”
“What if they don’t think I look good naked?”
It goes on and on. Obsessing about every little detail. Most people won’t even notice, or they don’t care. Your partner won’t even be thinking about that. If you stay on a normal cleaning schedule, it’s perfectly fine. Clear your head, therefore, giving yourself a chance to let go.
Get to know them
Using a free dating site for sex is like gambling. You win some and you lose some. Increase your chances of not letting a stalker into your life by putting in the time to get to know them. Find out if they’re friends with their exes. That could potentially be an issue. If they still talk to their ex every day, they might be hung up on them. Or you might have an insane person pounding on your door in the middle of the night.
How do they talk about other people? They say, “How you see the world reflects your true self.” It’s not an absolute rule, but someone who thinks everyone’s judgmental might be themselves judgmental. It can be very telling, so ask questions about their history.
It’s paying attention to these little things that will help you choose the right people more effectively. You’ll empower yourself. As you get better, you’ll be able to get people to show their true colors quicker. You don’t want to waste your time or theirs. You owe it to yourself.
Sleeping with someone new on a free dating site is exciting for both parties. It’s a new experience that can also cause tons of anxiety. Follow these steps and increase the pleasure you feel.
Yeah, you might be nervous but so is your new partner. Get to know them and more about yourself while having fun doing it. Give yourself permission to relax and be in the moment. More importantly, keep all participants safe while doing it. Who knows? You might even enjoy it!
