Now that you’ve successfully transitioned from having first met online and then moving past all the initial dating jitters, you will see that being in a relationship is a different ballgame. Your priorities have shifted away from bedding the next hot prospect to finding your perfect brunch spot, and it’s safe to assume all your go-to’s in the hookup scene have pretty much become obsolete.
So what do you do now? You may think “Am I going to become another one of those relationships, am I right?” guys? Here are a few answers to those oh-so-critical questions to resolve once you’ve entered a relationship.
How to make it be about more than just sex?
The gay dating scene can be plagued with men only looking for hookups and others who simply want to act out their every sexual fantasy. When you leave that you’ll find that being in a relationship is much more than fun dates, cute selfies, and walks in the park with froyo.
To make your relationship be fun beyond sex, you should find common interests, take vacations together, and have a serious conversation about how you hated the outfit he wore on your first date. There’s something special about having your partner also be your best friend, and you can’t reach that level of intimacy without first building that connection through openness and honesty.
How involved should you be in their personal life?
Your boyfriend is your partner, and as his partner, you will need to be ok with having to share his happiness and his pain from his personal life that doesn’t revolve around your relationship with each other. It’s easy to be selfish when you’re single and only looking to mingle but when you’re a couple, his highs and lows should be yours as well, and vice versa.
Keep each other up to date on concerns about work, new friends, conversations with family members, and everything in between. Having his shoulder to lean on is a wonderful thing, and you should be just as happy to be his.
Seriously, who should pay?
In the heterosexual world, tradition dictates that the man should pay for dates, at the very least on the first one. But when you’re both “the man in the relationship, the answer is a bit less as straightforward.
This is a challenge for everyone, but it’s best to resolve early. You’re both adults and if you’re “grown up” enough to want to be in a relationship, then you most likely also have the means to take care of yourself and your partner. The best approach is to always be equal partners, and this includes the monetary side of the relationship. If he’s buying you dinner, treat him to lunch next week. Did he buy the wine you two brought to your friend’s birthday get-together? Then you should cover buying the dessert for his company picnic. And if you shared your most prized possession of all, your Netflix password (!), then he should definitely be OK with coughing up the cash to pay for Hulu Plus.
If you’re looking for your other half to make use of these tips, check out Mingle2, a free online dating site for singles just like you.