Making love and having sex are two commonly confused scenarios among young people today. It’s not unusual to meet someone new on a dating site or book club. And then you feel the sudden attraction and instant chemistry with them. You begin to feel butterflies in your stomach whenever they talk to you.
You think you’ve finally found the missing piece of your life; your one true love. In a twinkle of an eye, you’re in a relationship with this charming “person” and things soon become physical. The sex was magical, and you wish it never ends.
As time goes on, you start to wonder, is this love or just sex? You’re in a dilemma. You begin to have doubts. You don’t seem to understand how your partner truly feels about the relationship.
Luckily, there are ways to find out whether you’re just a “booty call” or something more to your partner. But only if you can assess the relationship without bias or fear of losing your soulmate.
Making love or having sex? How to spot the difference
Despite the close similarities between making love and having sex, you can tell the difference with the following tips. Keep in mind that it’s a two-way street. It could either be you or your partner exhibiting any of these actions.
#1. Only physical attraction
It’s okay to be physically attracted to others, but aside from the physical qualities, what other things do you like about your partner? Is it their kindness, respectful nature, intelligence, or sweet sense of humour? If good looks and appearance are all that appeal to you or your partner, then you’re about or already making a bad investment.
#2. Always calling and texting at odd times
If your partner only calls or texts from 10 pm upwards, then that is a red flag that they likely want to talk dirty and possibly exchange nude pictures. This does not mean that it’s a taboo for your partner to text you or call at almost midnight. But someone who claims to love you should also be able to check on you during the day or toward the evening as well.
#3. You feel empty and wish to leave after sex
It’s natural to want to spend more time with your partner cuddling and having small talks after making love. Post-sex cuddling and pillow talks mean that you respect and trust each other. It also indicates that you are happy and comfortable with each other. However, feeling empty after sex, even if it is great, is a hint that you are not fulfilled.
#4. You partner is not interested in knowing more about you
When you’re in love, you will want to know everything there is to know about your partner. Your soulmate will also be eager to know about you. Lovemaking requires a deep level of intimacy and shared knowledge. If your partner is apathetic about any personal information you wish to share with them, then that’s a red flag. It is more of sex than love.
#5. Your best moments are in the bedroom
This is a clear sign that it’s just sex and not love. It is ideal for people who are in love to hang out in public places, at least to connect and know more about each other. If you don’t spend time together outside your home, then your relationship is all about sex.
#6. You or your partner flirts with others
Flirting with other people while you’re dating someone is inappropriate. It shows how satisfied you are with your current relationship. But flirting is fun, you may say. True that! However, one who is completely content with their relationship will not see the need to flirt. So if you find yourself or your partner flirting with others, then something is not right.
#7. No dates, you only hook up for sex
No romantic date? How then do you discuss and connect on a deeper level aside from sex? Despite the tight schedules, it is important to sacrifice certain days for romantic dates. Date nights have many benefits. It shows your commitment and helps you to connect with your partner. It also provides an opportunity to talk about relevant topics affecting both of you.
#8. Sex is the only way to make up
Disagreement is a part of any relationship, whether romantic or not. It is ideal for couples to sit down and figure out how to deal with their problems through communication. Yes, having mind-blowing makeup sex after resolving the issue on the ground is a great idea. However, using sex as the ultimate solution during crises is a terrible thing to do, even though it may seem great. You are not dealing with the real problem, you are only escaping from it, which is a sign that there is no love. Sex is the driving force of your relationship.
#9. Nothing to discuss aside from sex-related topics
You should be able to talk about a plethora of things, including things that make you sad, your career, family, and many other things that will help you and your partner to get to know each other. If all your conversations are centred around sex or lead to sex, then you should call it quits or risk getting hurt.
#10. No commitment
Commitment is an essential part of dating and being in love. It’s easy for people to say “I love you” to their partner, but it requires a lot of effort to be consistent in little ways. What is love if it is not consistent? And of course, consistency can only come when there is commitment. Is your partner willing to make those little sacrifices for you? Is your partner honest and open? Does your partner appreciate and respect your opinions? Do you have any shared intention of being together in the long run? Someone who is looking for just sex will not want to go through the stress of being committed to you.