I’m sure you’ve all been on first dates where you’re excited and/or nervous. You may talk to your closest friend, and their advice is usually “just be yourself!” Well, if you’re anything like me, you have no idea what that actually means! I never truly understood how to “just be myself’ and what that actually meant. I mean, myself would be a nervous Nellie and acting like an idiot with stupid jokes and most likely some clumsy accident spilling something on my date. Is that what that advice means? I hope not, cause that’s terrible advice.
No, your friends are trying to get you to act as you do with them because that is what they find most charming about you. Of course, you should always put your best foot forward and also act appropriately with a new person. You don’t want to bust out the fart jokes on your new date as you would with your old friends.
However, it can be a tough thing to do when your nerves are shooting everywhere, and you’re not sure how your date will react. So here are some tips on just being yourself:
1) If you are a drinker, have a drink!
Alcohol will lower your inhibitions and relax you a bit so you are more at ease and not be too nervous and act out during your date. Don’t drink too much though; you don’t want to get drunk and act a fool!
2) Smile and throw out those charming traits that you have in your repertoire.
Whether you are a storyteller, a comedian, a personality or an intellectual, try to keep your conversation in a comfortable zone for you.
3) Be honest
If your date asks a question or starts a conversation that isn’t in your comfortable zone, be honest about it and suggest something you’d prefer to talk about!
If this goes back and forth and you two can’t find a level to relate on, then maybe this isn’t a match. But at least you know now because you were being yourself.
4) Make sure you try to pick an activity that can suit the both of you.
If you and your date are a fine dining kind of sort, then go out to dinner! But if you guys are more adventurous spirits, then an active activity may be more comfortable (miniature golf? Rock climbing?) for you guys.
5) There’s nothing wrong with being nervous!
Remember that your date is probably just as nervous as you are, and if they are, then it’s a good opportunity to laugh at that situation and break the ice a bit. There’s nothing wrong with being nervous! In fact if you and your date are both nervous, then it’s probably a good sign there’s some good stuff found between you two that should be further explored.
Most importantly, it’s just a good idea to be yourself because you are your own representative to who you’ll be if you and your date end up pursuing a relationship together. You don’t want to misrepresent who you are because that can lead to confusion and turmoil as you walk down the path together. So relax, have a good time and be yourself!