We all have that lifelong crush that we’ve always wished we had the guts to finally ask out and be in a relationship with. The benefits are there in plain sight: you grew up together, so you basically know everything about each other. Often, you’re already good friends, so transitioning to something more serious seems logical, and you just can’t help but fantasize that you two are the next Cory and Topanga.
But your life isn’t the modern-day Boy Meets World, and here’s why you shouldn’t date your lifelong crush:
It’s not as good as you think
Finally dating your lifelong crush is not at all what you think it is going to be. Remember the part about how you already know just about everything about each other? Well, this often hurts established relationships because there’s nothing new about your partner to get excited about, so dating someone you already know all about essentially dooms you right from the start.
One of the best things about dating someone new is that initial phase when you start getting to know each other. In this stage, you get to discover things about them that most people don’t know; you learn what makes them tick and, consequently, how to make them happy. Best of all, you get to see them when they give you the “I think I’ve fallen in love with youâ€ look for the first time. If you date your lifelong crush, most often than not you’re likely to miss out on that moment.
You’re already too late
If you’ve been debating whether you should finally ask out your lifelong crush, you’re already so far behind in that race that there’s hardly any chance you’ll ever catch up. When you like someone, you need to do what you can to let them know how you feel about them as soon as possible. That way, you can see if there’s a chance that this can become something more before missing your shot and ending up in the dreaded “friendzone”
When you just observe someone from afar and make occasional attempts of flirting with them because you’re waiting for “the right time” to bring up how you actually feel, they’ll never know you’ve ever had real emotions for them. He or she will move on, and then when you finally decide to make a move, they’ll say, “You should’ve told me that you felt this way before!” because they will have either found someone else–or worse, they don’t feel the same for you anymore.
You’re about to lose a good friend
Lifelong crushes typically develop with romanticized ideas of what it would be like to finally be a couple with someone you’ve always loved, but if you’re one of the lucky few who is able to turn a simple crush into a real relationship, a lot of times one of you will end up realizing that it would be better to just remain friendship. But that’s the thing about breaking up: it’s not easy being just friends with someone that shared intimate moments with you. You can’t look at them as just another one of your friends anymore and vice versa, so that awkwardness will also lead to your losing each other as friends. Before you know it, someone who was an integral part of your life will soon disappear to avoid sharing uncomfortable moments.
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