By putting yourself out there in the dating world, you are signaling to yourself and others that you are open to the idea of friendship, romance, and even love. You could just be looking for some fun or you could be hoping to find a soul mate. Maybe you’re tired of being single or maybe you have no problem with being single and find it the best way to be for the moment. Whatever your motives, how do you rate on the desperation/devotion scale? What are the differences, and how does your rating translate into your dating life?
What It Means to be Devoted
On one end of the scale are the devoted people. Devoted people have a strong sense of their own worth and are satisfied that even if they aren’t perfect, they are trying to be the best they can be. If you want to be a devoted partner in a friendship or romantic relationship, you are going to try and do whatever you can to make your partner happy without also being willing to suppress any of your own opinions, likes, and dislikes in order to constantly curry favor with a demanding partner. You choose not to cross the line between doing what you can to satisfy as many of your partner’s needs as you can reasonably expect to do and becoming a slave to your partner’s every whim.
The confidence of a devoted person is attractive. Devotion is a voluntary act of giving and service based on love and respect for yourself and your partner. You hope to find the person to whom you can entrust your heart, and when you do find him or her, you constantly try to put their happiness before your own selfish desires.
What It Means to be Desperate
Desperate people usually lack a sense of self-worth. They are willing to do or say anything if it gets them what they want. If you are desperate for a relationship, you don’t care if the relationship is healthy or unhealthy as long as someone (or a specific person) pays some attention to you. You will suppress any of your own opinions, likes, or dislikes if you feel it will get you the attention you crave in a relationship.
The problem with being desperate is that you don’t place any value on yourself, and therefore, it is incredibly difficult for a partner to place any value on you, either. Because you despise yourself consciously or unconsciously, others cannot help but despise you. Good people will avoid a relationship with you or break up with you. Bad people will enthusiastically use and abuse you as long as you allow them to. After all, you teach people how to treat you by the way you act, speak, and think about yourself, and being desperate means you don’t care about who you are as a valuable individual, so why should anyone else?
Whatever the reasons for your singleness, how you think about yourself will either help or hinder you in achieving the end result you want. A person who values himself and is willing to voluntarily serve and love a partner he respects and loves will most likely find the end result he is looking for. A person who is desperate for attention “any kind” and thinks very little of himself will end up with the end result that he is seeking. It’s up to you to decide which outcomes you want to have.
Create a profile now on Mingle2 and start meeting interesting, attractive singles immediately. It’s free and it’s easy, and it could be the ticket to the kind of relationship you’re hoping for.